Who Am I? Where do I belong?
Zeenat Noorani, Co-Founder of the Let’s Talk Better campaign, reflects on our fifth in-person event held on 28th June, themed Identity and Self-worth:
Let’s Talk Better touched on yet another important, but eye-opening topic that resonated with everyone in the room at Bromley’s Community House which hosted our latest event. Conversations also opened up about ‘Perfectionism’ and how this relates to and can impact upon our #identity and #selfworth. We were delighted to have keynote speaker Thomas Curran, author of the book ‘The Perfection Trap’ and Associate Professor of Psychological Behavioural Science at the London School of Economics speaking about ‘perfectionism.’ What is it? Where does it stem from? How it affects our lives, mental health, and how we feel about ourselves. Thomas spoke about how he began to question perfectionism and probe the traits and drivers that lead us to be perfectionists in an unhealthy manner. What matters is not on the surface, but internally where the destructive energy of perfectionism comes from. I know that I had quite a few ‘A-Ha’ moments as I listened to Thomas and recognised so many aspects and traits of perfectionism within me coming from my professional sporting career. And, as I looked around the room, I could sense many of the people there were resonating with what Thomas was saying.
Singer and songwriter Oliver Anderson joined us once again with his amazing musical talent and words that captured the attendees’ hearts. Oliver is a young man who has had his challenges in life at such a young age, but found the strength to gain purpose and a better life through writing and singing music. He serenaded us with two new powerful and profound songs, ‘Icarus’ written at a really low point for Oliver. He was regretting a lot of his decisions, including dropping out of school, and I had started to doubt himself as an artist. It’s about the mental battle that goes on when dealing with self-doubt and lack of confidence. And ‘Northern Lights’ was written a few days after the Aurora Borealis was visible in London. It was an amazing experience for everybody, but Oliver remembered feeling as if something wasn’t quite right. He had always wanted to see the lights somewhere more magical than his own home. The song is about the fear that your dreams don’t live up to expectations.
Guest speaker Susie Brooks, a Therapist and Wellbeing Coach, took us back to basics about Identity, and the importance of who you are. The ‘I’ ‘ME’ ‘SELF’ ‘YOU’ questions, such as: Who were you? Who are you? And how do nicknames play a part in our identity – do you love them or hate them? As the Clarity Coach, I know how important it is for us to stop and peel back the layers of the onion to look back and work on ourselves with kindness; love and to truly believe in ourselves and not be dictated to or let the judgments and expectations of others/external factors stop us from being our best version of ourselves. And that is what I do to support my clients. Creating that self-belief!
We heard an inspiring, heartfelt story from Chandra Sharma – Small Business Owner (Elmcroft Business Services) Startup Bromley Business Manager and Federation of Small Businesses (FSB) Lead for Bromley, who openly shared his personal and professional challenges and the impact that this has had on his own identity and self-worth. But through the love of his closest friends and the community, Chandra finds strength and confidence to keep growing and glowing.
Being a close friend of Chandra, whom I call Bhai (meaning Brother), it is not the first time I have heard his story. Each time I hear him bravely share the deepest moments of his life, I always get a lump in my throat, bringing tears to my eyes. I have seen that the more he shares and speaks up about it the stronger he has become. Many have made steps to release or overcome their fears, such as Emma Meheux who truly stood out when she spoke for the first time, through poetry this year, about her life challenges.
I was blown away by the love and conversations that filled the room and how comfortable everyone felt. This is what drives my passion for what I do and why I do what I do. Watch this space. There is more to come….
We were proud to give a first public showing to the trailer for the yet-to-be-released movie Dark Revival: The Cycle Of Existence, which examines a story of mental health and spirituality. We were pleased to have the team behind the production, Dipak Sharma and Harry Alemu, present at this event.
I feel honoured to be surrounded by such wonderful people within the community, the support they have given, and their belief in what Let’s Talk Better stands for. Many who attended this event and past events have and continue to make a difference in supporting mental health and wellbeing. These include Neil Peters of Nuthatch Retreats, Nick Wilson the Disabled Adventurer, Mercedes Yearly of Quest Soul Theatre, Bev McGarey of Woodland Mindfulness, Ilhora-Lee, the 9-year-old kidpreneur of self-development journals; Olivia Penhallow and Nathaniel Allen, the Founders, actors and writers of the Chequered Theatre Company, Delphine and Nola of CareDogs, Lauretta Wright the Editor of Life In magazines, and Brian Meehan of the Samaritans. The list goes on.
If we are to have sound mental health and lead fulfilling lives, understanding our own identity and self-worth is vital. Yet this cornerstone of our existence is often neglected.
Each of us needs a deeper understanding of who we are, our values, and our boundaries, based on an awareness of how special and irreplaceable we all are as individuals.
This essential script for life is seldom communicated and we are affected by many external factors from the day we are born (as an empty canvas), for better or for worse. This isn’t talked about enough by parents and carers, in schools, workplaces and even between friends, leaving people without a strong sense of who they are and their boundaries. Not having the tools at hand to know how to cope with the pressures and expectations of society can result in people feeling isolated, vulnerable, and in some cases, eventually suicidal.
Finally, a huge thanks to Simi Ghuman and Chanice Baugh – Directors of Radfield Home Care Bromley for their support and sponsorship; and Community House Bromley for their support and the venue to hold some of these events. A special thanks to Kerry Godwin, Business Support Officer at Community House, and Nolene Harris of Rotary Game Changers Bromley, and Rotary volunteers Lara and Chris who helped out on the day setting up, serving refreshments, and with the horse racing entertainment! Which added some fun and relaxation throughout the morning.
Connect and follow us:
Let's Talk Better C.I.C 